Kimmee's. Thoughts. on. Depression.
No storybook ending for the fairy tale of you. Just the one composed with blood taken from your pen that you hold in your lifeless hand.
- From Autumn to Ashes
Depression is a psychiatric disorder characterized by an inability
to concentrate, insomnia, loss of appetite, feelings of extreme sadness,
guilt, helplessness and hopelessness,
and thoughts of death. Also called clinical depression.
This is a web page to share with you about the many ideas and thoughts on depression.
It will take you through 3 different perspectives, and will show you how different
individuals feel towards this topic.
Information.
Depression can be formed in many ways. Some get it hereditary, while others get it through a hard life, abuse, having medical conditions, having your heart broken, or even being an outcast. Depression can cause thoughts of suicide; can make someone anti social and even into doing drugs and drinking. People with depression can become bulimic or anorexic and make someone insecure. A sign of depression is someone who doesn’t care about anything the world and sleeps his or her life away. Other types of depression can be a cause of suicidal thoughts and even begin to hurt themselves, or find ways of cutting themselves as a coping mechanism.
Everyday I see my life rewind. Tearing through dreams I find I’m wide awake
- Demon Hunter
Just help me thorough this, don’t let me die here. But I’m almost out of breath from saying things that I’ll regret.
- Demon Hunter
My. Thoughts.
Depression is hard to pinpoint. It comes in many forms. Mine came in genetics. My grandpa had it as did my grandma. It’s also a state of mind. In which personally I got angry. My anger grew. I couldn’t control it. I’ve broken things. I’ve punched walls. I’ve beat people up. Anything and everything can set me off. I haven’t had the worst life, but it hasn’t been a stroll in the park.
Depression has been throughout my life. Not as bad as other times, but still there. It’s been cause by being an outcast. I was made fun of through elementary school. I haven’t had the best relationship with my biological father. He mentally abused me. I have low self esteem to begin with so he didn’t help. So I was adopted by my step dad. It also has to do with my health or the lack of. There have been a lot of people in my life to help it along also. Girls in general. I’ve never really got along with them. Ex – boyfriends. Parents. Adults.
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Why live in such a place, where happiness is only brought out by self-mutilation,
pain, and tears
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Then the summer of sophomore year my depression hit harder than ever. I’ve thought of suicide before, but this time I attempted. I attempted and failed. There were things holding me back. But I just did do it well enough. I cut to make myself happy. I was numb. I didn’t do anything; I just laid there in my room doing nothing. The school year came and it didn’t help. I didn’t care, my grades dropped, my friends and I grew apart. I would wear long sleeve shirts to hide the scares. I’ve mutilated most of my left arm. I was put on medication. Put into about 2 or 3 different groups and therapist.
There’s no reason for me to be here any longer.
I came, I’ve seen, I’ve done, and now it is over
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I’ve slowly been moving out of the “depression state”, I’m off medication, I’ve moved to a different school, I have a boyfriend who I love and who helps me take care of my problems, I’m on the road to helping myself.
It hasn’t been an easy journey, but I now have to live with the scares over my body. But someday I will be ok. Someday I will be over this state completely: Till the next time. Now that I look back, I’m glad to be alive.
Kimmberlee. Wehlage.
Thoughts. from. My. Boyfriend.
Depression to me is a state in which you just don’t care and you get emotional over something. It puts you into a state of mind where you just want to break down and want to be alone. I have had depression in and out of my life. I used to have it when I was younger, by the acts of my father. As I was growing older, I got it from loosing a special girl in my life in a car accident. I have suffered many things in my life, but nothing like the trauma from that death. Nothing can give you such a life filled with anger at the world, anger at god, than being next to a loved one as they die. I have gotten my depression through family, trauma, and a broken heart.
As I was growing up, my father was abusive to me, mentally and physically. I used to be scared of him and I would be scared to talk to him. He had a grudge against me because of some stupid fight him and my mom had before I was born. So he took it out on me. I watch home videos, and every shot, you hear him yelling at me, or telling me to move out of the way. He never paid attention to me. Always in the back of his mind. From this I grew to be shy.
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- M Hamersky
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I would also yell at my mother for no reason, we’d get into stupid fights and id leave the house. She called the cops on me a few times, but I was never really arrested. I just felt so bad; I couldn’t deal with any of these problems. I needed to get out of there, to end all of my problems. To leave this world behind.
I tried to cope with this pain. I would skate all day. I would end up cutting myself on my wrists and arm. I would yell at people for no reason. I would hit walls and break things. Just so I could feel good. Cutting was something I found very well and would take the pain away. And so did skating. I would do both of these every time I got sad or depressed.
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- M Hamersky
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I thought no one would care about me ever again. I just had my heart broken. When suddenly I found this girl, she was so gorgeous, so beautiful. I just had to have her. I tried to get her to notice me for over 4 months. Finally one day she noticed. She eventually started liking me. But her to had dealt with depression and things torn her apart. But then once we started to go out, my depression began to rise. I felt love. She helped me out, as I helped her.
I grew up being abused. Witnessed my best friend die before my eyes. Got my heart broken twice. And just got mad at everything. I have a lot of experience in crap. Now, I only get depressed when something scares me or if I feel like the love is being lost. I also get upset at things, and I will sometimes overreact or even fight over it. I am now able to cope with it, and I am able to learn and help others, such as my girlfriend, when they’re having a hard time. Having Kimmee as my girlfriend has been the best thing that’s ever haven’t to me. I found love. I found that I can still be loved by someone and they’re more in life than to feel bad and feel like the world is against you. They’re reasons for living. They’re people in the world who care about you.
Mike. Hamersky.
My. Mothers. Thoughts.
Depression can come into your life and choose the most vulnerable. Where there was an easy going and carefree child with loving hugs and kisses, becomes a self doubt and thoughts of suicide.
When the teen years steps in, depression has ownership. All a parents love and support is washed away with one thought of inadequately accompanied with anger. All of a sudden, even though it’s been time, you realize where there was love for oneself is replaced with thoughts of disgust and hate.
Depression doesn’t only affect the one it has chosen, but everyone who loves them with s genuine heart.
Where there once was joy is now engaged to worry and guilt. The “what ifs” fill a parents mind. Chatter with mental pictures of the unimaginable. You don’t know how long it’s been living with you. You walk in fear wondering when or if she will ever conquer it or surrender.
This is my Hell. One wrong world, destruction, depressions leader, threatens self mutilation, even worse. Answers aren’t easy to come by. Tears are.
